It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My ATM looks so different sober.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
