That's intense
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
