you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
