it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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