What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
