I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
