Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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