The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
