Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
