You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
