she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
