Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
