Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She swung at the pinata with crutches
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes