I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.