she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?