Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Acid is not a monday night drug
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different