i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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