that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
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