she kept yelling 'call me bella'
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
