Where did you get a picture of my penis
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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