Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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