I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
