So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
