Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Im part way to drunk.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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