Small penises have feelings too.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
