I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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