he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
