ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
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i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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