I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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