He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
