how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
