i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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