the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will be naked everywhere
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
