Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
this hospital has no fireball
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
