I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize