dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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