i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
