she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
