arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
