I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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