I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Did I show you my penis last night?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
