I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
