sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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