i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
