I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize