And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
