Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
