Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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