Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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