we're blogging at a bar
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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