u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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