For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
