i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
