we made out on top of his cat.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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