I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize