We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
In America we eat man semen.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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