you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
