Midget sex pt 2 tonight
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
