What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
