I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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